Wednesday, December 29, 2004

I'M SORRY

I'm sorry I'm not thin.
I'm sorry that my eyes aren't a little bit bluer.
Or my teeth a little whiter.
I'm sorry I'm not blonde.
I'm sorry I'm not tall
and I don't wear mini skirts and tube tops.
I'm sorry I'm not as sweet as chocolate
And I don't smile all the time.
I'm sorry I don't have an award winning smile
Or locks of curly hair flowing down my back.
I'm sorry I don't love everyone
And sometimes I do hurt.
I'm sorry I'm so stubborn.
I'm sorry I lie
And cheat.
I'm sorry I smoke and drink.
I'm sorry for what I've been through
For feeling low
And gross.
I'm sorry I'm loud
And annoying.
I'm sorry I don't sing as good
Or dance as good.
I'm sorry I don't act as good
Or kiss as good
Or love as good.
I'm sorry I don't have a nice body
With a nice ass
And a nice rack.
I'm sorry I don't talk as much
Or joke as much.
I'm sorry for being mean
And hitting you.
I'm sorry for hurting everyone
And isolating myself.
I'm sorry for the attitude.
I'm sorry that I'm short
And fatter than most.
I'm sorry that I flirt.
I'm sorry that I cry.
I'm sorry that I don't have a nice laugh
Or have nice legs
And a nice stomach.
I'm sorry that I'm not perfect for you.
I'm sorry for thinking I was.
I'm sorry that my hair isn't a little fuller
And my cheeks aren't a little redder
And my nose isn't a little cuter.
I'm sorry that my lips aren't bigger
And my hands are so small.
I'm sorry for not having nice hips
And nice ears
With nice earrings.
I'm sorry that my bellybutton isn't pierced
And I don't wear bikinis.
I'm sorry that I don't shop all the time
And I don't try to make myself look good all the time.
I'm sorry I don't like soap operas and junk food.
I'm sorry I get jealous.
I'm sorry I'm not like Carmen Electra or Alyssa Milano.
I'm sorry I'm not in music videos
Or a model.
I'm sorry my rooms a little messy
And my grades aren't that good.
I'm sorry that I'm not a little smarter
And my car isn't nicer.
I'm sorry for yelling
And getting mad sometimes.
I'm sorry for not having nicer clothes
Or shoes
Or make up.
I'm sorry I'm broke
And live in a low-income apartment complex.
I'm sorry I have depression
And a slight anger problem.
I'm sorry for being slutty.
I'm sorry for being lazy
And tired.
I'm sorry for my fears
And paranoias.
I'm sorry for being self concious
With low self-esteem.
I'm sorry if I try too hard
Or act a little weird.
I'm sorry if I don't try hard enough.
I'm sorry if I don't want to be touched.
I'm sorry if I don't want to be with you
Or him.
I'm sorry I'm not everything you want
And I do have a little baggage that comes with me.
I'm sorry if you pity me.
I'm sorry if you think about me
Or do something for me.
I'm sorry if I make you mad
Or upset.
I'm sorry if I'm not always there.
I'm sorry that I'm not always here.
I'm sorry that I don't feel like hanging out
And I lose motivation sometimes.
I'm sorry that I talk about you
And I brag sometimes.
I'm sorry that I can't cook
Or clean
Or draw
Or match.
I'm just sorry I can't...
I'm sorry I can't be molded
And I keep barriers up.
I'm sorry I can't trust people
Even if it is "just you."
I'm sorry I can't pretend
To be something I'm not.
I'm sorry I don't call
Or come up.
I'm sorry I get defensive.
I'm sorry I can't do the job as well as you.
I'm sorry I can't get anything done.
I'm sorry I'm a hyprocrit
And I procrastinate.

I'm just sorry I can't be everything that I'm not...everything you want me to be....I'm sorry that I can't try to be something that I can never be...Stop and think about who you are...Maybe it's you trying to be something you may never become...Because I know I am nothing less than everything...

*~*Malia*~*

Malia 2:42 PM