Sunday, November 07, 2004

Well, a lot has happened since the last time I posted. But I'm way too lazy to mention all of it. All's I have to say is, I miss Bill. I miss having a friend like that and being able to escape reality and go to Bill's house and have a good time. I miss his friendship and our talks. I miss being able to see everyone else because they were all always at Bill's house. It makes me mad that Pete is still going up there, and I'm not. I know I sound like I'm 12, but it's true. I have been so lonely and that is why...I have nowhere to go anymore. It makes me so upset! Going to Bill's house use to be like my therapy. Everyone would compliment me and flirt and everything. It was so laid back and just...fun. Now I feel so hated and ugly. I feel so fat. I really just feel like curling up in a ball and dying. I'm so depressed. Plus, Pete hasn't been saying anything really nice to me lately. I mean, don't get me wrong, we had a great day today but...the past few days he's been making me feel like total shit! Whenever we're around people, he puts me down. And the other night when him and Tasha were here, all he said was "I think you guys should make out!" It's like, yeah, thanks a lot, now my self esteem level is digging itself a grave. What...am I that boring? Am I really that bad of a girlfriend that he NEEDS to watch me make out with another girl? I mean, wasn't making out with his best friend enough?!!!???! I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to feel better. It's obvious that my boyfriend won't make things better...so who will? He complimented me today about how nice my shirt was, but I feel like it's only because I told him how he's been making me feel.
So, I don't know...I'm talking to Bruce. So I'll update laterrr.

*~*Malia*~*

Malia 9:59 PM